Tuesday, January 17, 2006

President Bush Outsourced

Expatbrian has breaking news regarding President Bush. Here are some of the highlights:
Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of January 20, 2006.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work experience. A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience shaking hands with a phony smile.

Another possibility is Bush's re-enlistment in the Texas Air National Guard. His prior records are conspicuously vague but should he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in Waco, TX for a month, before being sent to Iraq, a country he has visited. "I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport's terminal and gift shop.

Sources in Baghdad and Fallujah say Mr. Bush would receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate welcome.

I'd like to be able to say you did a heckuva job, Georgie, but I can't. Good luck with that job search.

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