Mother Said There'd Be Days Like This

There are days when I still feel young, but today is definitely not one of them. I have my husband to thank for that. He got it in his mind that he wanted to make homemade sauerkraut just to see if he could do it. Someone he knows sold him a LARGE crock for twenty dollars (a good deal) and, after a trip to the store to buy kosher salt and cabbage, he was all set to start slicing and dicing.

I need to back up and tell you a little bit about my husband. He’s a great cook, but he’s the type that always does everything in a grand way. He once decided he wanted to learn to make bread from scratch. Okay, fine. I like bread, so I was willing to teach him about yeast, kneading the dough, and all the other tricks. Well, I must be a good teacher, because in no time at all my husband was preparing French bread, focaccia, Irish soda bread, and every other kind of bread you can think of – all over the course of a weekend. The man went through 40 pounds of flour! So, do you get what I mean when I say he likes to do everything in a grand way?

Anyway, back to the sauerkraut. My husband is from the Pittsburgh area and sauerkraut and pork play important roles when celebrating New Years. Tradition dictates that a person MUST eat some pork (roast, chop, kielbasa – it doesn’t matter) and sauerkraut on the first day of the New Year or you will be cursed with bad luck for the rest of the year. (A shiny new dime is also cooked along with the pork and sauerkraut to ensure financial fortune in the months ahead.) This tradition is my husband’s reason for wanting to make sauerkraut. He figures we’re going to need it soon, so why buy it.

Where do I fit into this whole scenario and why has this made me feel so old? Because, I took pity on the man and decided to help him slice the cabbage – all 31 heads! I think my husband sensed my shoulders were going to wear out after I sliced the first head because he asked me if I wanted a glass of wine – and then he informed me I was slicing the sections too thick. They should be no thicker than a dime.

I have to back up and tell you something else about my husband. The man uses our kitchen utensils to fix anything and everything around our house, so you can imagine how sharp our 20-year-old knives are. That’s why my husband offered me the wine. He could just sense that I was about to question his sanity and ask him how the heck I was supposed to cut cabbage into dime width slices with knives that can’t even cut butter!

Anyway, after half a bottle of wine and lots of slicing, the cabbage is happily fermenting away in the crock – all 20 gallons worth! It should be ready to eat by the holidays. If I can lift my fork to my mouth by then, I’ll probably enjoy it. In the meantime, my shoulders are painfully reminding me that I’m too old to play Martha Stewart anymore.

UPDATE: The sauerkraut is done and we labeled it "designer" quality. Check it out for yourself to see the finished product.