Thursday, October 02, 2008

Lessenberry vs Johnny McNasty

Columnist Jack Lessenberry wished he could have faced McCain in the first debate.
I desperately wanted to be Barack Obama, standing on that stage with old Johnny McNasty.

What I wanted to do most is stick a broom handle in front of the old turtle's face. McCain would have clamped on it, hissing violently, back feet kicking, shredding the wood with his little yellow teeth. Trust me, he would have done it. I know. I caught a large snapping turtle in the woods when I was in grade school, and it did exactly that. And it had exactly the same reptilian eyes Old Nasty does, except the turtle's were brighter and more reflective.

That was almost half a century ago, when McCain was only middle-aged. But on Friday night, the visibly aging Mac was a sarcastic sourpuss. He refused to look at Obama, evidently because that might acknowledge that his opponent was a human being.

"I'm afraid Senator Obama doesn't understand," McNasty sneered, over and over, usually when he was trying to justify his having sold his soul to Dubya over the mess in Iraq. Unfortunately, the batteries Karl Rove inserted at the base of McCain's scrotum didn't last as long as called for. At one point, I thought the oldest living boy in Arizona was having a seizure when he stumbled over the name of the Iranian president, seemingly trying to sneeze out his name (Mahmoud Ahmadinejad) before butchering it.
I think one could safely say Jack was not impressed with McCain, but he did find the silver lining:
Now, for the first time, I really think there is a real chance that we as a people may be able to put aside our racism and actually elect the superior human being and candidate.
That, as Martha would say, is a good thing.

8 comments:

Kvatch said...

I have to say that I didn't think that Obama did all that well either, but there's no question that McCain did awful--scattered and consdescending.

K. said...

This is great. Hunter Thompson would be so proud!

Hey, I asked my pollster brother about McCain pulling out of Michigan, and he hadn't yet heard about it. All power to the blogosphere!

Lew Scannon said...

Yes, apparently McCain has already conceded MI. One down, forty-nine to go!

abi said...

I think Obama has to do a better job in sticking a broomstick in McCain's face. If he can get McCain to throw a real hissy fit, it would be a real head-turner for all the undecideds. Obama had plenty of opportunities to tweak the old codger's nose, but chose not to for the most part.

Kathy said...

Kvatch, I think McCain's treatment of Obama recently (disdainful, no eye contact, refusal to shake his hand in Washington the other day) is racist. McCain can't be happy he's losing, but I think he hates the idea he's losing to a black person.

K, Gonzo journalism is alive and well in Michigan - apparently so is the blogosphere! Kudos to us.

Lew, FiveThirtyEight shows Obama as a lock in about 28 states so far. He's mopping up the floor with the ex-maverick.

Abi, I thought the same thing you did until I read something that made me change my mind. (Don't ask me where I read it - I forget.) Anyway, this person said Obama is in a delicate situation. If he gets too aggressive with McCain, he'll be accused of being an "uppity Negro." He has to walk a tightrope because we still have too many racists in this country.

K. said...

I've stopped criticizing Obama's strategy and tactics. Think of what he's accomplished: A black liberal who no one outside of party cognoscenti had heard of five years ago defeated a heavy favorite -- and a Clinton at that -- for the nomination and is now on the verge being elected president. Who am I to tell him how to run a campaign?!

He's like Bjorn Borg, the '70's Swedish tennis great and five-time Wimbledon champion. No matter what, he just keeps playing, keeps making shots, never deviates from his game plan, and wears down his opponents. The points add up like a squirrel collecting acorns one at a time, and all of sudden the guy has a big lead without anyone quite understanding how he got there. McCain keeps rushing the net trying to hit spectacular shots. Barack calmly returns them from the baseline until McCain makes an error. It's quite impressive, when you think about it.

Libby Spencer said...

Hey Kathy. Great link. Sorry it's been so long since I've stopped by. Glad to see you're still finding all the good stuff. Hope you and yours are well.

Kathy said...

K, I agree that Obama's accomplishments are quite impressive, which makes the right's attacks even more despicable. They cry that people need to work hard and make something useful of their lives, and then when someone like Obama does just that, they attack him. You can never win against these hatemongers.

Libby, I'm glad you stopped by. Life is good and bad these days, as it is for many of us, but I learned to roll with the punches a long time ago! Hope all is well with you too.